Avoid future trouble, do you understand consent?

Otomewo Jolomi

Oftentimes, allegations of rape or sexual abuse trend on social media and they become topics of discussion in the media and other platforms.

In some instances, some of these allegations involve two romantic partners who are no strangers to engaging in sexual activities with each other. Controversial subjects such as these elicit different concepts and one of them is consent.

Without a doubt, there is a blurry line between sex and rape/ sexual assault, and that line is consent. Many sexual offenders plead innocence to clear cases of rape simply because they do not understand the rules of consent.

Consent is defined as an intentional agreement between two people to engage in sexual activity. It is about setting and respecting individual boundaries. For sex to be consensual both parties must be in agreement every time. 

Before you proceed with engaging in any form of sexual activity with your partner or anyone else, keep in mind that consent is that factor that determines if you may find yourself in prison sometime in the future or not for a sexual offence. 

As such, below are five things to know about consent.

1. Minors can’t give consent

 First, it is important to note that a person must reach a specific age before they are legally allowed to give consent. While the legal age for consent may vary in different countries, in Nigeria it is 18 years according to the Sexual Offences Bill which was passed in 2015. This means that sex with anyone younger than 18 is statutory rape, even if they agree to it. 

2.                  Consent Is Affirmative

A person has to say yes to your sexual advances. Flirting with you is not yes, silence is not yes, wearing revealing clothing is not yes, a girl sleeping over at your house is most definitely not a yes, only yes means yes and no means no. Also, the fact that a person has agreed to sex before does not mean that they agree every time.

3.                  A Consent giver must be mentally fit

 A person cannot give consent while asleep or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol. For a person to consent, they have to be aware of the choice they are making to have sex with you.

4.                  Consent must not be given under duress

Consent must be given without any form of coercion, pressure, manipulation or duress. For a person to consent, they have to WILLINGLY make the decision to have sex with you.

5.                  Consent Is Revocable

Everybody has the right to change their mind about sex anytime they want even if they have agreed to it before and you should respect their decision and stop instantly once consent is withdrawn, not attempt to pressure them to continue.

It is important to conclude by stating that the ability to reason differentiates humans from animals. Indeed, every normal human has the ability to control his/her sexual urge and seek consent whenever it arises. 

Seek consent because it is human and the right thing to do! 

About Author

Leye Abiola

See author's posts